Astral Samurai

Yesterday out of curiosity I woke up early and left for the Catholic church near a mile away. I am not a true believer as one might say. But the priest had been discussing marriage, this must have been meant to be. He was speaking about Jesus' opinion on divorce. Something I have honestly been thinking about but not to much. As I thought of my wife, he also spoke about the contradictory nature of marriage in a way. How couples marry because they make them happy from working so hard but also divorce because well they work so hard. I thought about it for a moment, divorce my wife? No she would have to, I can't leave the kids behind its just not feasible. More words came from the priest how wives of the Torah (the Jewish book) could not divorce. But Jesus changed all that I suppose he did not make that clear to me though. As the mass ended I left I took one of the palms with me not because it had a spiritual significance but that it looked nice, call me earthly if you will. ...

My sleep habits have changed to waking up near 2 or 3 in the afternoon and staying awake till ten the next morning. When the kids and wife are asleep I'm at the computer typing, searching and trying to get as much out of myself as I can in my writing. So far on the book I have ten complete pages with a good start. I read it over a few times knowing that it isn't the best I've ever written but is still good. Ever since I have been sleeping in the morning though I do not dream. This is something I am not happy about as I used to enjoy remembering my imaginary concoctions in my unconscious mind. With little sleep comes restlessness I look at my wife while peeking through the door in the master bedroom. She never snores but I hear her heavy breathing from smoking. I am taking a pull on my own lit cigarette now thinking it would be great to cuddle with her about now. But I know I won't be able to sleep I'm charged up for the night or day which ever you prefer. Back...

I have been watching CNN regularly and the situation in Egypt is coming to a close. I am glad for them and I hope Democracy makes a comeback there. Life at home has been erratic. Everyone in the house is doing there own thing including my son and daughter. I feel disconnected from my family yet I seem to have found a family at the bar. It may seem sad but when I come home late no one asks questions, not even my wife. I tried talking with her the other day but she shut me out, saying she is just depressed lately. I am concerned as the children are suffering as well. Money is shorter too but I am thinking since I cannot find a job in computer for DBA I will try to start my own business. We will see what will come of that later rather then sooner as my old colleagues from the office may not be willing to take the risk.