Astral Samurai

I'm no lawyer nor will I ever have the credentials be as such. But looking at Oscar Pistorius reminds me of myself. In my youth of 17 or 18 I was a pro runner 6 miles a day, 13 miles at the end of the week. I have yet to run a full marathon I've come close about 21 miles or so. From West Hempstead, NY to Dix Hills, NY The last few miles buckling my knees to the point where I could do nothing else put find a place to sit and eat. For the last 5 miles or so I called a friend to pick me up. Drove me to the family thanksgiving thing on that cold winter. I jumped out of my friend's car and ran the last 100 meters or so. I cheated I couldn't go beyond my own physical limitations. That last 5 miles might have killed me. I've seen other runners like Paula Radcliffe many years ago, break down crying, she wanted that moment so badly, but the body wouldn't go any further. It could've been anything, was she too hot from the heat, did her knees buckle at ...

I'd felt so terrible over all the dialogue I'd either been pretending to hear or debating. I knew something was terribly wrong. As if the dream had been corrupted. I could hear myself debating whether this was the outcome of a choice I'd already made or an inaction. Was all that I was hearing a self imagined chain of terrible decisions that I didn't even know if I could fix or change. The only reason to build a time machine is to prevent a nuclear war, find out if there is a better life or to build one. There seemed to be two parts arguing with me, maybe more, A feminine part, and a faint masculine part that seemed to be fading away. Your gonna make him crazier! I was sure 150% sure that there were time travelers moping around the house. Trying to change the outcome of a trial, a trial I knew would come at some point but for what? I wanted time travel not to hide but to find a better world, a new life, a new way, maybe even a way to evolve the dinosaurs to ...

At the beginning of April I had a good outlook for the guitar, things were all coming together. I felt bad about something so much so that I sawed the guitar neck in half as a display of emotion. It took courage to destroy it, I loved the work I put into it, I liked the way it was coming out but the emotion tied with getting so close to a full build on the guitar tore me in half. I could either keep building or act on these emotions but I let my emotions get the better of me. I'd gone out of my way to ignore someone so close. And a single moment can change everything. Up to that moment I'd been so proud of everything I'd been through to amount to the creation of the shop, ideas, and work that I could focus on. My ego felt inspired to act, to move, and without thinking it through I drove my grandmother's car recklessly. I didn't give myself time to think, Always Forward I said to myself. I wanted to share this moment with that person so close whom I'd...

The morning after I woke up relaxed, and slowly got up out of bed. I wandered into the shower and started reflecting on the past day. All in all it wasn't all that bad, my wife hates me but the kids are okay for now...It'll all work out I'm sure. I scrubbed good and hard til my skin was a bit raw. After I dried off I went through my laptop finding no new emails from my boss except the usual crap that somehow made it into my inbox. I remembered the idea to call old friends who probably didn't even know my name anymore and scouted out my contacts list. A couple of, Who the hell is that? (s) later I found the friend's numbers who had almost escaped memory. Ring, ring, ring... "Uhh Hello?" said someone on the other line. I cheated and glanced at the name on the computer, "Steve?" "Huh...Sorry wrong number." he replied. "Whoops thanks." The call ended and I tried to think over what I remember hearing from Steve. Don...

At the beginning of March I paid off the end of another debt. I felt pretty good, I dealt with the necessary things I usually have to do. I went out and bought an orbital sander which made the task of sanding 150% easier. With the Orbital Sander 30 minutes would get six hours of work done instead of by hand. I got back to work on the guitar, the shop warmed up enough that I could work comfortably. I didn't have an excuse not to, I checked in with Dave asking him if he needed any women's clothes, for his daughter's. I had it in the back of my mind that maybe he would count it towards shop credit. He wouldn't so I ended up taking it to good will. I ended up taking my grandmother out to see 300 as my friend could not make it down. I didn't think this would be a good idea but I'd wanted to see it. It was probably more of a way to snub my friend. I couldn't deal with the 3D glasses very well, there was so much going on that it was hard to follow. My...