Astral Samurai

We started off the month good, the kids are back in school and I having been doing great with work. I figured I'd have more time to work around the house and put all that stuff I had planned over the summer finished, well not really. The last days before school started my wife started disappearing telling me she'd decided to hang with coworkers at her job. It wasn't something I expected since whenever shes' talked about her job she just makes it sound like a living wreck. So the gears shifted a bit and I was the one being the home body, and go figure there was never enough time to get to the things I needed to do around the house. "Wheres mom?" asks my son. "She went out for the night...work stuff..." I had to cut my tongue short didn't want to say too much. "I'm hungry..." I silently cursed behind my eyes thinking, I should've kept the job at the deli . "Can you make mom's pizza?" I knew how to make...

Its the end of October, near Hallows Eve. its been an eventful two months. Things couldn't have gone better. There were and are a lot of stressful situations that surmounted over the weeks. My grandmother had pain most if not all of the time til yesterday. I am hoping that with her getting better that will take pressure off of me. I do make time to do my Yoga, and every weekend I've done some random thing. Yosemite with friends, rock climbing, family stuff, photoshoots, and some light travelling. The thing is every time I come back from a great experience, the good vibes turn to bad vibes and I just feel terrible. Like in some sense I'm goofing off when I could be writing more, finding meaningful employment, computing math. I do get snuffed out of quite a bit of the party type deals. I'm more of the bouncer type anyway looking for a problem before it develops. (The last house party I went to I ended up cleaning glasses and dumping bottles out) Thats just ...