Astral Samurai

When I was younger I searched history as an exploration into the why of humanity. Why are people so evil? Why do I not have any friends? Why don't I have any power? I must have been in the 7th or 8th grade 11 or 12 years old and I have written about this before on paper, in digital form and in speech. Every time I write about it, it seems to gather more meaning with the same conclusion. It was I who had caused this evil, it was me...Something was simply wrong with me. I blamed myself and out of that a tumultuous flow of emotion brought me to tears. I didn't tell anyone till years later after this shroud of gloom began to escape me. I opened up and sometimes I look back and think well what if...what if I had continued to keep my mouth shut? There were so many different ambitions, at first I wanted to be a marine. I wanted to serve my country like John Clark in those Tom Clancy novels I idolized. Then I wanted to be a perfect representation of saint hood, a Jesus like fig...

The kids have returned to school and I am driving them there everyday. I have gotten back in the habit of a daily routine. I sometimes forget what I'm doing or thinking but this is what happens when you are the man of the house. Always doing, never stopping, and not having more than a few minutes with time to yourself. I keep having to bite on my tongue when talking to my wife, let it go, just let it go I am always telling myself. There was a moment when the toilet broke. My wife yells from upstairs, "Honey the toilet, something is broken." I roll my eyes into the back of my head . Too much toilet paper! "Be there in a second babe . " I head upstairs and I hear a rather loud spraying sound. I go from a trot to a sprint, "Honey!" it appears the situation is worse then I thought it was. The pipe burst. Shit literally shit. Everywhere. I am running through the situation in my head, SHUT OFF THE WATER ! I made a mad dash for the basement and systema...