Astral Samurai

This month moved fast. It almost threw me off a few times. I usually keep notes to stay on track of the pace of things. On the first day of the year there seemed to be a kind of mad frenzy driving everyone even here. My father made an appearance out from New York. He seemed different from his usual gotta go now attitude. It was good to see him relaxed for a change. My uncle suffered from pneumonia and was not in good shape. Now in physical therapy. My other uncle came by for a weekend which turned into a family dinner. Good seeing everyone but taxing on energy. Losing my glasses also temporarily prevented me from driving. So almost a full month without driving. (Almost sounds like I'm addicted) The Dentist ended up putting a nice hole in my pocket and the necessary work that needed to be done, can't be. (Hoping my teeth will stay attached til its affordable) Still being consistent with my Yoga, also falling back into distance runs. Hit a six month milestone and r...

When one runs away like this there is that weird feeling between guilt and exhilaration. I wasn't too sure how exactly I was going to get to the other side of the country. I wasn't sure I'd make it to the other side of the country. It felt like an action movie, I started picturing cops shooting at me trying to fishtail me into a gutter. Driving off into some crazy frenzy in the night, wheels screeching, burning against the pavement. Of course as soon as I stopped at the red light that all just blew away. Its a fantasy...not reality... I'd never done anything like this before but still a strange sense of persecution followed me. My wife would certainly be mad as all hell the next morning. There would be a void that would need to be filled from a missing father... I didn't think to highly of myself from the past. So many things I intended to do the right way just ended in more misery. I didn't plan it to work out like the way it ever did which was w...

This year closes on a soft note. No tragedies to great to handle in my own life. No falling too far from the sun. Its been a year of transition for myself. In past years it has been one of wandering, seeking, and never finding who I was looking for. I've surrendered that past because I did find something, myself and this is not just in an artist's context either. The answer always lay within of course but when you do not know , you know , you will try to find it esoterically.  I can only wonder how much faster next year will go.  I hope for my own sake not too fast.  There is plenty of work to be done and I am hoping to have what needs to be done by July. Leaving me six months of time to figure out what the next phase is. While my writing took a back step for other ambitions and concerns I did not stop. I divided my time between two prospective novels in their early stages. I cannot say too much about it, learning that people steal  i...