Still Not Strong Enough
I'm completely obligated to myself physically I wouldn't have it any other way.
If you knew you had to face something violent everyday or maybe the next day you would too.
I've kept up with my Yoga and thats allowed me to be lighter, faster, and balanced.
I've been running again which was a staple of my youth.
I'll never be able to run 6 miles a day ever again but at the least I'd like to be able to do a 3 mile run without a beat.
I was never a fast runner, endurance though I'd leave most people 20 miles back in the other direction 3 hours later.
I've never enjoyed arm work and it wasn't the type of pain I enjoyed.
I do want to improve my arms though.
When Climbing a rock or anything else you will need your arms.
Last weekend I went to the indoor gym again and I was really out of place.
Its not the real thing, and the two people I met were not following the usual safety guidelines.
I nearly rammed into the one guy when he was supposed to be belaying me.
And yet again no one told me how to belay.
They could climb and they topped everything in there, but I don't see any sharp jagged edges there.
I'm not sure where to go with climbing now since the two friends who got me into it have gone back into the shadows.
I've been considering just taking my own risks, I know with complete certainty I wouldn't die, I'd get hurt or injured but thats the most I'd suffer.
If you knew at a certain time and place you'd be posthumously dead...You wouldn't give a fuck either.
The problem is getting to these places, and the equipment.
I certainly need more equipment for solo climbing but a car is definitely in my future.
I'd also like to try surfing and pretty much its the same deal as the climbing.
You kinda have to teach yourself.
Fuck it I'll eat the shark for breakfast.
This month was paced evenly, nothing too exciting or drab either.
I got some much needed time alone and this was used to sand and polish the blade.
The only thing that caught me off guard was a friend's death recently.
I had to be sure I heard what I heard even though he'd been diagnosed with cancer a year ago, it shocked me.
I was almost certain my friend was supposed to be around for something in the future.
Its tripped me up a bit and its made me reconsider the sequencing of things to come.
Perhaps I'm making a fatal mistake right there but this is a perfect time to reevaluate myself and everything else that may or may not come.
December is right around the corner and I'm sure its going to be an incineration of activities.
Family stuff is bound to happen, I will be driving, my dad is coming out here & that Guitar I plan on building is going into the green light.
My yoga is important both physically and spiritually. Its grounded me since last November and without mom around its been essential to my well being.
I could barely walk a mile last year.
I have to get back into running as if every breath counted on it.
I have to quit smoking.
If I'm going to climb on my own without any safety then I need strong arms. I'll lift gallons of water to start, and do as many push ups as I can.
Besides women like guys with big biceps.
I have to drop a few more pounds off my stomach. Yes I've lost 40 pounds since last November but theres still flab there. Crunches will do me good, bridge pose, table pose, and the climbing itself would do good.
It just doesn't look sexy and I'd be that much stronger without it.
All of this my strength, my endurance, my will are going to be tested and this will require extreme amounts of concentration and patience. While its easy to say something like that a media blackout might be in order.
That means no tv, no internet, no phone, just whats right in front of me.
I'm still not strong enough. But I'm going to try to be as strong as I can.
Til next time.
-Astral Samurai
If you knew you had to face something violent everyday or maybe the next day you would too.
I've kept up with my Yoga and thats allowed me to be lighter, faster, and balanced.
I've been running again which was a staple of my youth.
I'll never be able to run 6 miles a day ever again but at the least I'd like to be able to do a 3 mile run without a beat.
I was never a fast runner, endurance though I'd leave most people 20 miles back in the other direction 3 hours later.
I've never enjoyed arm work and it wasn't the type of pain I enjoyed.
I do want to improve my arms though.
When Climbing a rock or anything else you will need your arms.
Last weekend I went to the indoor gym again and I was really out of place.
Its not the real thing, and the two people I met were not following the usual safety guidelines.
I nearly rammed into the one guy when he was supposed to be belaying me.
And yet again no one told me how to belay.
They could climb and they topped everything in there, but I don't see any sharp jagged edges there.
I'm not sure where to go with climbing now since the two friends who got me into it have gone back into the shadows.
I've been considering just taking my own risks, I know with complete certainty I wouldn't die, I'd get hurt or injured but thats the most I'd suffer.
If you knew at a certain time and place you'd be posthumously dead...You wouldn't give a fuck either.
The problem is getting to these places, and the equipment.
I certainly need more equipment for solo climbing but a car is definitely in my future.
I'd also like to try surfing and pretty much its the same deal as the climbing.
You kinda have to teach yourself.
Fuck it I'll eat the shark for breakfast.
This month was paced evenly, nothing too exciting or drab either.
I got some much needed time alone and this was used to sand and polish the blade.
The only thing that caught me off guard was a friend's death recently.
I had to be sure I heard what I heard even though he'd been diagnosed with cancer a year ago, it shocked me.
I was almost certain my friend was supposed to be around for something in the future.
Its tripped me up a bit and its made me reconsider the sequencing of things to come.
Perhaps I'm making a fatal mistake right there but this is a perfect time to reevaluate myself and everything else that may or may not come.
December is right around the corner and I'm sure its going to be an incineration of activities.
Family stuff is bound to happen, I will be driving, my dad is coming out here & that Guitar I plan on building is going into the green light.
My yoga is important both physically and spiritually. Its grounded me since last November and without mom around its been essential to my well being.
I could barely walk a mile last year.
I have to get back into running as if every breath counted on it.
I have to quit smoking.
If I'm going to climb on my own without any safety then I need strong arms. I'll lift gallons of water to start, and do as many push ups as I can.
Besides women like guys with big biceps.
I have to drop a few more pounds off my stomach. Yes I've lost 40 pounds since last November but theres still flab there. Crunches will do me good, bridge pose, table pose, and the climbing itself would do good.
It just doesn't look sexy and I'd be that much stronger without it.
All of this my strength, my endurance, my will are going to be tested and this will require extreme amounts of concentration and patience. While its easy to say something like that a media blackout might be in order.
That means no tv, no internet, no phone, just whats right in front of me.
I'm still not strong enough. But I'm going to try to be as strong as I can.
Til next time.
-Astral Samurai
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