A House Of Cards
I felt pretty good on the First of October.
I had the root canal scheduled for the 3rd.
I called in to make sure they checked on the dental insurance.
They called back to tell me the insurance has a 12 month waiting period.
I must have wanted to believe that the coverage was for 12 months.
Without knowing whether I would even be here for another year I cancelled the dental insurance.
It did infact suck teeth and they refunded me the premium without a problem.
So the Root Canal was rescheduled and pushed back to the 31st.
I did work on the guitar, and at some point in bending I cracked the rib.
I made a trip out to Dave that same week because somehow I'd lost the bridge pins I bought which later turned up magically.
He also cleared up my dilemma with the kerfing.
I was trying to glue the kerf to the soundboard not the ribs using clothes pins.
So I'm glad I saw him before I may have made the soundboard unusable.
I was forced to rent a car because my grandmother didn't want to go.
For a $30 rental it was cheaper then a taxi to Dave's and back which would have ran me about $80.
Of course I thought of all the other things I could have gotten done after I returned the rental.
On the 3rd I also received some late news on Tom Clancy's death.
I was a bit shocked, I've read him since my first year of middle school on to only a few years ago when I stopped reading him.
I can remember a certain science teacher who served as a mentor handing me a copy of "Rainbow Six."
I remember even then that level of technical detail, the vivid portrayal of guns, and a certain kind of honesty.
In my teen years it was tradition for me to read, "Without Remorse" once every year to remind me to keep fighting, running, and to push myself.
When I first started writing novels I said to myself, I don't want to be a great writer, I don't want to even be a good writer, I want to be an okay writer like Tom Clancy.
Tom made his writing accessible to anyone with a middle school education, you don't need a thesaurus in one hand and the book in the other.
I've read probably about 10,000 pages worth of Tom Clancy in my lifetime.
As a writer his style impacted me more than any other, I aspired in my early novellas to shoot for that same realism, availability and detailed description.
From time to time Tom would leave hints in his books sometimes in the chapter titles themselves, other times in a simple screen name of a character in his books. If you were intelligent enough to pick up on it that is and I can't help doing that myself either.
I remember vividly instant messaging him from a certain hint in one of his books.
It was a brief conversation, and I was a little shocked and not trusting of the text behind the message.
I only messaged him one other time and I said very cruelly, "I thought you were gonna write another book!"
What a waste of words.
Now with experience I've learned to be more gentle with my words and characters.
I only stopped reading him at "The Teeth of the Tiger" because the detail wasn't there anymore, the moral conflicts in the character's psyches had vanished and it all seemed very shallow.
There were no Jack Ryan like moments, "Jack Ryan looked in the mirror, the real prison would always be himself."
Or John Clark moments, "He wanted to save the world but those were dangerous thoughts."
You can see Tom's impact easily, go into a good will or any thrift store that carries books and there are usually the same two novels in any of them.
I always get a laugh when I see "Without Remorse" in a thrift store because John Clark dresses up as a homeless person to conceal himself in the streets of Baltimore while killing pimps, and drug dealers.
I see a lot of people are already politicizing his writing, please don't even bother.
Tom was a writer and he knew better then to start offering opinions of that nature so find something else to reinforce your ideals.
All in all I hope you died without remorse but I wish ya could have sticked around just a bit longer Tom you would've seen something great.
On to every other relevant thing this month.
I went to the autobody shop thats been working on my car.
They told me the registration was soon to expire so it would start being ticketed if it wasn't registered.
I told them I wanted to give them money for what they'd done so far and they'd found the other half of the engine.
I wanted to arrange a payment plan with the shop owner and get the thing at least registered so I wouldn't have tickets to pay.
I called them 3 or 4 times this month and even showed up twice without the owner being there.
I figured it was just an instance of Money talks bullshit walks.
I hiked over there and gave them a deposit to make sure they know I'm serious about getting the car back together.
I knew my grandmother had a planned trip to Vegas with her sister coming in the middle of the month.
I'd have the house to myself for 4 days and this would be valuable free time that could be put to good use.
In preparation she went to 3 different hair salons in the same week.
I suppose it was just nerves, you want to look good if you get lucky on the slots.
She even trusted me with her car which was a surprise to me.
I think she thought me a bad driver up til then.
The moment before she took off I gave her $100 which really was the rent for the month.
She left happy and I drove over to Home Depot after leaving the airport.
I grabbed some more plywood to build a molding for the ribs.
I for whatever reason was exhausted the first two of the four days alone.
I did need the rest, and maybe not having my grandmother antagonizing me made unmotivated too.
I wanted to practice my Iaido, clean the blade, catch up on writing, and wrap up the sketch project on the side. I drew out a few more sketches, and since I bought a relatively good scanner had been prepping them for publishing. I realized I was a bit short on sketches I wanted to have 100 and made up till then a little more then 50.
I also realized that the publisher I usually go through was way to expensive for a simple sketch book and I wouldn't be able to make any money at all if I had to sell it. Hell at the rate they were charging I wouldn't even pay for it.
I found another publisher that was more economical for what I was printing.
I did give myself a little break and went to a local venue that I had no idea existed.
I ran into this girl who runs a photography business.
Earlier in the year I'd been looking to get a series of shots for a friend and I asked around looking for an assistant photographer to get the shots I was after.
When I realized she was a $200 an hour photographer I knew it wasn't going to happen.
If I were getting paid for the shoot fine but otherwise I couldn't justify the cost of it.
Fast forward to this Month and we finally met at this bar.
I wanted to talk shop and at the least figure out where I could fit in with her photography.
I knew that at the most I could spend 1 or 2 days out of the week shooting with them.
Theres too much pressure on myself to finish all the other projects that are piling up, in my head, in the garage, in my notebooks, and on my wallet.
A band was playing too and at some point one of the band members asked if I wanted to play, I turned him down. I kinda regret that even though I've played in front of people before I never really played at a venue. Of course my mind wasn't really on playing a guitar but building one.
Even so it was a relaxed atmosphere and I didn't feel any bad vibes there.
If I'd had more time I'd probably have stayed longer and took up that offer to strum out some chords.
The two remaining days I used to clean the blade which still has rust marks on it.
I called a dojo looking for a sword expert and spoke to someone who said to come by Friday.
The other usage of time was devoted to appointments that I was otherwise forced to keep.
I made a last minute run to Dave's to buy a pair of replacement ribs which ran me about $50.
We had a short conversation about gambling, and he kind of explained the logic of it to me.
We both agreed in the end its all just a house of cards.
I went on about calculated risks and how in a way they too are a house of cards.
"The problem is if you miss one little thing no matter how meticulously planned it can literally bring the whole house down."
With my grandmother's return right after I knew she would be in one of two moods.
She would either be really happy, or miserable.
She came back happier then ever and she even cut me a break on the rent with her winnings.
I never made the trip down to that dojo to check out the blade and the next week I spent building the molding for the ribs, I got about halfway by the end of the week.
At 180 days on the project by the 17th I so far had the soundboard glued to the neck with the headstock, The fretboard sanded down and ready for gluing.
Hopefully after the ribs are bended and glued down the rest should just fall in place easily.
In anticipation I'm actually planning two guitars ahead with one based on a 3/4 Martin and the second being a custom design idea.
If this guitar that I'm currently building is good, then the second build should be easier, if not better.
But having not crossed that bridge yet its all just a card away from falling.
Ever since 2010 I've been really into going out on Halloween night.
Its a welcome opportunity to get out of myself, and be whoever I want to be on that particular night.
Last October I planned a month in advance, and stayed in character the whole night.
I've learned that most people do their celebrating the weekend of Halloween.
I always do my shtick the day of since there are less people present and I'm less likely to be in a crowd where I'd be completely alone in the end.
This year I planned four months in advance, though the last part of my character was unrealized.
Hey you try building vacuum pressure retractable wooden claws!
I was pretty sure my grandmother was not going to let me take the car out that night.
I did plan somewhat ahead in the case this would happen, looking up local dive bars, within walking distance where absolutely no one would recognize me.
I also expected because of the nature of the character that conflict was more likely then it was last year.
In preparation I did some major workouts the coming week and went absent from chocolate and sugar.
At the least I'd have liked it to go down almost like last year except more dancing, more women and less black guys tripping me on the dance floor.
It ended up being a very underwhelming night.
Had the root canal not cost me so much I certainly would've gone all out.
The root canal itself didn't really seem like a big deal, the doctor drilled twice in the space of an hour.
Really I probably didn't need it and should've just got the crown which costs just as much as the root canal.
The month ends on a low point in my wallet but otherwise it was a good month without too much stress.
As always keepin' it □
-Astral Samurai
I had the root canal scheduled for the 3rd.
I called in to make sure they checked on the dental insurance.
They called back to tell me the insurance has a 12 month waiting period.
I must have wanted to believe that the coverage was for 12 months.
Without knowing whether I would even be here for another year I cancelled the dental insurance.
It did infact suck teeth and they refunded me the premium without a problem.
So the Root Canal was rescheduled and pushed back to the 31st.
I did work on the guitar, and at some point in bending I cracked the rib.
I made a trip out to Dave that same week because somehow I'd lost the bridge pins I bought which later turned up magically.
He also cleared up my dilemma with the kerfing.
I was trying to glue the kerf to the soundboard not the ribs using clothes pins.
So I'm glad I saw him before I may have made the soundboard unusable.
I was forced to rent a car because my grandmother didn't want to go.
For a $30 rental it was cheaper then a taxi to Dave's and back which would have ran me about $80.
Of course I thought of all the other things I could have gotten done after I returned the rental.
On the 3rd I also received some late news on Tom Clancy's death.
I was a bit shocked, I've read him since my first year of middle school on to only a few years ago when I stopped reading him.
I can remember a certain science teacher who served as a mentor handing me a copy of "Rainbow Six."
I remember even then that level of technical detail, the vivid portrayal of guns, and a certain kind of honesty.
In my teen years it was tradition for me to read, "Without Remorse" once every year to remind me to keep fighting, running, and to push myself.
When I first started writing novels I said to myself, I don't want to be a great writer, I don't want to even be a good writer, I want to be an okay writer like Tom Clancy.
Tom made his writing accessible to anyone with a middle school education, you don't need a thesaurus in one hand and the book in the other.
I've read probably about 10,000 pages worth of Tom Clancy in my lifetime.
As a writer his style impacted me more than any other, I aspired in my early novellas to shoot for that same realism, availability and detailed description.
From time to time Tom would leave hints in his books sometimes in the chapter titles themselves, other times in a simple screen name of a character in his books. If you were intelligent enough to pick up on it that is and I can't help doing that myself either.
I remember vividly instant messaging him from a certain hint in one of his books.
It was a brief conversation, and I was a little shocked and not trusting of the text behind the message.
I only messaged him one other time and I said very cruelly, "I thought you were gonna write another book!"
What a waste of words.
Now with experience I've learned to be more gentle with my words and characters.
I only stopped reading him at "The Teeth of the Tiger" because the detail wasn't there anymore, the moral conflicts in the character's psyches had vanished and it all seemed very shallow.
There were no Jack Ryan like moments, "Jack Ryan looked in the mirror, the real prison would always be himself."
Or John Clark moments, "He wanted to save the world but those were dangerous thoughts."
You can see Tom's impact easily, go into a good will or any thrift store that carries books and there are usually the same two novels in any of them.
I always get a laugh when I see "Without Remorse" in a thrift store because John Clark dresses up as a homeless person to conceal himself in the streets of Baltimore while killing pimps, and drug dealers.
I see a lot of people are already politicizing his writing, please don't even bother.
Tom was a writer and he knew better then to start offering opinions of that nature so find something else to reinforce your ideals.
All in all I hope you died without remorse but I wish ya could have sticked around just a bit longer Tom you would've seen something great.
On to every other relevant thing this month.
I went to the autobody shop thats been working on my car.
They told me the registration was soon to expire so it would start being ticketed if it wasn't registered.
I told them I wanted to give them money for what they'd done so far and they'd found the other half of the engine.
I wanted to arrange a payment plan with the shop owner and get the thing at least registered so I wouldn't have tickets to pay.
I called them 3 or 4 times this month and even showed up twice without the owner being there.
I figured it was just an instance of Money talks bullshit walks.
I hiked over there and gave them a deposit to make sure they know I'm serious about getting the car back together.
I knew my grandmother had a planned trip to Vegas with her sister coming in the middle of the month.
I'd have the house to myself for 4 days and this would be valuable free time that could be put to good use.
In preparation she went to 3 different hair salons in the same week.
I suppose it was just nerves, you want to look good if you get lucky on the slots.
She even trusted me with her car which was a surprise to me.
I think she thought me a bad driver up til then.
The moment before she took off I gave her $100 which really was the rent for the month.
She left happy and I drove over to Home Depot after leaving the airport.
I grabbed some more plywood to build a molding for the ribs.
I for whatever reason was exhausted the first two of the four days alone.
I did need the rest, and maybe not having my grandmother antagonizing me made unmotivated too.
I wanted to practice my Iaido, clean the blade, catch up on writing, and wrap up the sketch project on the side. I drew out a few more sketches, and since I bought a relatively good scanner had been prepping them for publishing. I realized I was a bit short on sketches I wanted to have 100 and made up till then a little more then 50.
I also realized that the publisher I usually go through was way to expensive for a simple sketch book and I wouldn't be able to make any money at all if I had to sell it. Hell at the rate they were charging I wouldn't even pay for it.
I found another publisher that was more economical for what I was printing.
I did give myself a little break and went to a local venue that I had no idea existed.
I ran into this girl who runs a photography business.
Earlier in the year I'd been looking to get a series of shots for a friend and I asked around looking for an assistant photographer to get the shots I was after.
When I realized she was a $200 an hour photographer I knew it wasn't going to happen.
If I were getting paid for the shoot fine but otherwise I couldn't justify the cost of it.
Fast forward to this Month and we finally met at this bar.
I wanted to talk shop and at the least figure out where I could fit in with her photography.
I knew that at the most I could spend 1 or 2 days out of the week shooting with them.
Theres too much pressure on myself to finish all the other projects that are piling up, in my head, in the garage, in my notebooks, and on my wallet.
A band was playing too and at some point one of the band members asked if I wanted to play, I turned him down. I kinda regret that even though I've played in front of people before I never really played at a venue. Of course my mind wasn't really on playing a guitar but building one.
Even so it was a relaxed atmosphere and I didn't feel any bad vibes there.
If I'd had more time I'd probably have stayed longer and took up that offer to strum out some chords.
The two remaining days I used to clean the blade which still has rust marks on it.
I called a dojo looking for a sword expert and spoke to someone who said to come by Friday.
The other usage of time was devoted to appointments that I was otherwise forced to keep.
I made a last minute run to Dave's to buy a pair of replacement ribs which ran me about $50.
We had a short conversation about gambling, and he kind of explained the logic of it to me.
We both agreed in the end its all just a house of cards.
I went on about calculated risks and how in a way they too are a house of cards.
"The problem is if you miss one little thing no matter how meticulously planned it can literally bring the whole house down."
With my grandmother's return right after I knew she would be in one of two moods.
She would either be really happy, or miserable.
She came back happier then ever and she even cut me a break on the rent with her winnings.
I never made the trip down to that dojo to check out the blade and the next week I spent building the molding for the ribs, I got about halfway by the end of the week.
At 180 days on the project by the 17th I so far had the soundboard glued to the neck with the headstock, The fretboard sanded down and ready for gluing.
Hopefully after the ribs are bended and glued down the rest should just fall in place easily.
In anticipation I'm actually planning two guitars ahead with one based on a 3/4 Martin and the second being a custom design idea.
If this guitar that I'm currently building is good, then the second build should be easier, if not better.
But having not crossed that bridge yet its all just a card away from falling.
Ever since 2010 I've been really into going out on Halloween night.
Its a welcome opportunity to get out of myself, and be whoever I want to be on that particular night.
Last October I planned a month in advance, and stayed in character the whole night.
I've learned that most people do their celebrating the weekend of Halloween.
I always do my shtick the day of since there are less people present and I'm less likely to be in a crowd where I'd be completely alone in the end.
This year I planned four months in advance, though the last part of my character was unrealized.
Hey you try building vacuum pressure retractable wooden claws!
I was pretty sure my grandmother was not going to let me take the car out that night.
I did plan somewhat ahead in the case this would happen, looking up local dive bars, within walking distance where absolutely no one would recognize me.
I also expected because of the nature of the character that conflict was more likely then it was last year.
In preparation I did some major workouts the coming week and went absent from chocolate and sugar.
At the least I'd have liked it to go down almost like last year except more dancing, more women and less black guys tripping me on the dance floor.
It ended up being a very underwhelming night.
Had the root canal not cost me so much I certainly would've gone all out.
The root canal itself didn't really seem like a big deal, the doctor drilled twice in the space of an hour.
Really I probably didn't need it and should've just got the crown which costs just as much as the root canal.
The month ends on a low point in my wallet but otherwise it was a good month without too much stress.
As always keepin' it □
-Astral Samurai
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