Poisoning The Well
On the first of January I was really looking forward to paying one of the last payments on the car.
I was 100% sure they would be done with the car well into February and I'd make the final payment around then.
I even was considering dipping back into the credit pile and pulling another rabbit out of another none existent hat.
There is an old proverb about the ancient Roman's.
When, where, and how the proverb came to be known is not worth it for me to wikipedia it but you can if you like.
The story goes that if the Roman's couldn't take a barbarian village they'd come back poison the well and make sure nobody else could live there.
On the second of January I went with my grandmother over to the autobody shop ready to make what would've been the second to last payment on the vehicle's repair.
I walked over there and the tall douche bag laughed his ass off when clearly what I saw was my engine in somebody elses car.
The other guy the owner whose belly dropped over just as much as his mouth was at a loss for words.
The guilt rid across his face.
I was trying to tell him I was gonna make the last payment but they were doing something to the shop maybe running away with the shop and whatever money they just made.
I left without making a fuss and did the typical Irish thing and buried the ill feelings that came with seeing the engine from my Honda in some other guys Mazda.
My grandmother was on a mission herself that day and she had to pick up new fabrics to start sowing these seats.
I didn't think she'd be able to do it and I said earlier, "Hey listen if you're gonna keep fighting me about it, I'll just go buy new furniture from a store."
She shouted at me in the store and I just let it slide.
We both got tired of waiting and finally I forced the issue and got somebody from customer service to help her get the right size for her fabrics.
There was other running around but as always she started the month off with, "Go back home to your father!"
I only have so much patience and even now I very much dislike her taking my efforts to help her for granted.
Over the next few days I tried not to think about the furtive car issue.
At some point burying the anger must have started poisoning me.
She asked me a question, probably nagging me about something and I cursed very loudly, very angrily.
I realized ignoring the car issue wasn't a good thing.
I'd been unconsciously thinking about going to the autobody shop and destroying the car by hand with my fists in front of them. To the point where neither my car, nor my fists would be recognizable.
I apologized to my grandmother and called the assholes on the other side of town holding the Honda hostage.
Whoever answered wasn't the owner, most likely the tall douche bag with a grade school level IQ.
I yelled into the phone, "What the fuck is my engine doing in there?!"
I was ready to run down there right then and there but the guy whoever the bruto was on the other line said, "I will call you tomorrow morning."
Even now a ball of red hot steaming anger fills my stomach just from remembering this pathetic turn of events.
The next morning I waited till 10 AM when they didn't call I walked the mile and a half there and started shouting at the owner's son now head honcho at the chop-shop.
"What the fuck is going on here?"
"What?" asked the kid.
"I want to know why my fucking engine was in another car?!"
The son tried to put together an excuse, "It was a misunderstanding. If you want I can show you the engine in the storage."
He walked away to make a call probably to the drunk dad mechanic.
I was pretty pissed off while waiting looking at the car just made me shake my head.
And my mom's old whining pitched in the back of my ears, Don't Trust Anybody!
I kept reasoning with myself, Don't poison the well...Let it be somebody elses Trojan horse...
The kid came back and drove me over in his truck toward this storage area on the other side.
He opened the lot and showed me pieces of an engine, but there were supposed to be two engines.
"I don't know where that other engine is! haha"
"Hey ya know I was gonna pay you guys the rest of it even go into my credit but now...No way."
"Listen this is what I'll do at the end of the month we'll put the engine back in and go for a ride together."
"Ya know I really thought this car was in my future but now I don't want it to be...Let it be someone elses Trojan horse."
I was sure that was the end of it, I shook his hand then I walked home the rest of the way still upset but vilified having expressed my concerns in the calmest way I could.
A friend called asking if he could come down the day before and I didn't really expect him to turn up.
But he knew I was really upset about the car.
It was a relief for the moment, we left the house, went to the beach, ate at the house, and then we went shopping, I ended up buying my grandmother a new pot, and we bought some wine.
He wanted to go to the spa I sometimes go to, to relax.
I usually only go there when I feel I've earned it.
And I really didn't want to share this place to other people I know.
I almost felt guilty, maybe it was regret, that I showed him the place.
It was different then when I go there just for me, and I tried to relax despite being worried.
He paid for the admission at the spa but I knew they over charged him.
That too probably gave me a bad taste in the mouth.
I should've said something but I guess my eyes bulging out of my head while looking at the attendant wasn't enough.
Don't trust anybody!
He wanted me to make him a painting too and said he'd pay me for it.
Asking for a painting of a beach sunset.
I jumped at the idea it would give me something to do and I could re-purpose the unused laminate I couldn't use for the guitar toward the painting.
The next day I went with my grandmother to Dave the Luthier and bought new material off him for the soundboard, the tail block and the back plate.
Since the car isn't my concern I wasn't worried about putting money toward the guitar.
Now I can really put together a good guitar, Dave offered to teach me how to sharpen my tools with the wet-stone on my next visit.
I put this off a bit, I wanted to see whether the jokers at the autobody shop would end up taking me for a ride.
If so I would've had them drive their car and wait for me to finish sharpening My Tools.
The satisfaction I would've had from that would have been enjoyable but I didn't bet on that happening.
Over the next few days my grandmother went to work on her sowing.
I was really surprised to see her going into it head first and really doing a great job having not done work like that in what she said was 20 years.
I decided I needed something to do too. So I made my dad a wall clock but not just any wall clock, this would be something just for him, from me to fit his motif in the house back in New York.
I started sawing back a piece of scrap plywood to fit the idea.
I didn't want a perfect cut but something symmetrical.
I used my oils to paint it and put together another piece for the dial.
My grandmother went out and bought me a clock movement from the same art store she bought the fabrics from.
I paced the project out over the month.
Near the middle of the month I knew my uncle was coming in and with him would come other family. I looked over the garden since he really has a good eye for it and I really neglected it over the past two months.
My grandmother didn't want me using any water and she had me shut off the sprinklers.
But I should've done it anyway.
When he came in I was a bit relieved, it would ease the tension between my grandmother and I.
With family here we would all get a break from whatever projects we were now both involved in.
It was a good start, and the next day we got to work in the garden.
Pruning the hell out of all the dead leaves, and branches.
Between the both of us it must have been about 8 hours of work together that day.
I really felt sore but didn't bitch about it.
I couldn't complain really because otherwise I'd be in the shop working on the clock or overworking it before the paint would dry.
I expected his usual sarcasm so that didn't bother me either.
He even gifted me a couple of books, which I appreciated, I haven't read anything other then Luthier's manuals for the past six months.
The only thing that annoyed me was him insuating that I should get a job.
Another friend later on asked the same thing.
Hearing this from 3 people in a months time finally got on my nerves.
When my friend asked, "Any luck finding a job?"
I sarcastically replied, "Well ya know if cutting, carving, sanding, gluing, repairing wood and not having an employer to cover my losses isn't a job then I guess I don't have a job."
The sarcasm went right over his head, "At least your doing something though."
The next day family came by.
The oven crapped out a few weeks before and the technician said the control panel finally died.
I figured it was something like that and likely they didn't have a 13 year old control panel in stock so it would have had to be completely rebuilt.
He quoted us at $500 for the control panel, I knew that couldn't be possible the motherboard on my machine costs far less then that and does a helluva lot more.
We ended up buying a new oven and I had the old one out the day before my uncle was coming.
What I couldn't do was get the old gas link out.
We ended up calling a plumber that I spotted on the way to pick up my uncle.
Even he had a bitch of a time getting the old gas link cable out.
The timing all had to be perfect.
We had the oven running by the time company came and my grandmother cooked enough for at least a week.
My other uncle and would be aunt both gave me gifts both were put to good use.
They also assigned us with a small chair cover project.
I was worried it would be a pain in the ass to get the wood staples out.
But whoever built the chair really put work into it, bending it and making those staples not so hard to get out.
The seat covers my grandmother has are a work of crap, it took me three hours to get all the staples off whoever stapled her seat to hell.
My uncles took less then a half hour.
My Aunt was really observant, "You don't waste any time do you?"
If you only knew!
My uncles went out for the day and I talked to my Aunt.
I showed her the shop and we ended up going on a walk for milk.
She told me about her work as a hospice nurse.
I tried to avoid the emotional part of it from myself.
But she was very upset about having to watch elders fall.
Not in the physical sense but the metaphorical one.
I didn't want to have to deal with the reality that she might be in that same place some day.
I didn't want to think about what she couldn't do but what she could do.
She can still do a lot on her own but its easy to see that with age things just get harder.
Hell I feel old...
It was a good time but right after my grandmother was moody again.
So much so that she left for a optometrist appointment with my hand still on the car door.
And if I really were crazy I would've held onto the door.
It didn't make sense to me and I didn't know what I did wrong.
We argued after and I am starting to feel concerned for myself.
How much of this shit can I take?
Despite the frustrations I am still determined to get that guitar finished.
If thats the last thing I get out of living here let that be it.
Though I hope that won't be the case and things will get better not worse.
Maybe even a trip to Europe after all the chaos has turned to an ordered tune.
For all the negative, there was still good this month.
The CPU manufacturer replaced the CPU without cost and I was really happy about that.
They gave me the next step up too though not the biggest leap in processing power.
I've always been rooting for the underdog and with the other big CPU manufacturer out there owning 75% of the market they certainly are.
I bought a discounted pair of decent running shoes and ran a good couple miles just to break them in.
A few necessary beach days, family tidings, a friendly visit, and projects to work toward or on.
As the month ends I walked to the beach and back and noticed the old cypress tree I'd hang on from time to time was broken.
I knew they didn't saw it because it would've been a straight cut down.
Somebody might have seen me and tried to do what I did hanging upside down or standing on top of it and broke it.
Poisoning the well on me.
With a new month comes a new canvas and the first work on the rebuilding of the guitar.
As always keepin' it ▢
-Astral
I was 100% sure they would be done with the car well into February and I'd make the final payment around then.
I even was considering dipping back into the credit pile and pulling another rabbit out of another none existent hat.
There is an old proverb about the ancient Roman's.
When, where, and how the proverb came to be known is not worth it for me to wikipedia it but you can if you like.
The story goes that if the Roman's couldn't take a barbarian village they'd come back poison the well and make sure nobody else could live there.
On the second of January I went with my grandmother over to the autobody shop ready to make what would've been the second to last payment on the vehicle's repair.
I walked over there and the tall douche bag laughed his ass off when clearly what I saw was my engine in somebody elses car.
The other guy the owner whose belly dropped over just as much as his mouth was at a loss for words.
The guilt rid across his face.
I was trying to tell him I was gonna make the last payment but they were doing something to the shop maybe running away with the shop and whatever money they just made.
I left without making a fuss and did the typical Irish thing and buried the ill feelings that came with seeing the engine from my Honda in some other guys Mazda.
My grandmother was on a mission herself that day and she had to pick up new fabrics to start sowing these seats.
I didn't think she'd be able to do it and I said earlier, "Hey listen if you're gonna keep fighting me about it, I'll just go buy new furniture from a store."
She shouted at me in the store and I just let it slide.
We both got tired of waiting and finally I forced the issue and got somebody from customer service to help her get the right size for her fabrics.
There was other running around but as always she started the month off with, "Go back home to your father!"
I only have so much patience and even now I very much dislike her taking my efforts to help her for granted.
Over the next few days I tried not to think about the furtive car issue.
At some point burying the anger must have started poisoning me.
She asked me a question, probably nagging me about something and I cursed very loudly, very angrily.
I realized ignoring the car issue wasn't a good thing.
I'd been unconsciously thinking about going to the autobody shop and destroying the car by hand with my fists in front of them. To the point where neither my car, nor my fists would be recognizable.
I apologized to my grandmother and called the assholes on the other side of town holding the Honda hostage.
Whoever answered wasn't the owner, most likely the tall douche bag with a grade school level IQ.
I yelled into the phone, "What the fuck is my engine doing in there?!"
I was ready to run down there right then and there but the guy whoever the bruto was on the other line said, "I will call you tomorrow morning."
Even now a ball of red hot steaming anger fills my stomach just from remembering this pathetic turn of events.
The next morning I waited till 10 AM when they didn't call I walked the mile and a half there and started shouting at the owner's son now head honcho at the chop-shop.
"What the fuck is going on here?"
"What?" asked the kid.
"I want to know why my fucking engine was in another car?!"
The son tried to put together an excuse, "It was a misunderstanding. If you want I can show you the engine in the storage."
He walked away to make a call probably to the drunk dad mechanic.
I was pretty pissed off while waiting looking at the car just made me shake my head.
And my mom's old whining pitched in the back of my ears, Don't Trust Anybody!
I kept reasoning with myself, Don't poison the well...Let it be somebody elses Trojan horse...
The kid came back and drove me over in his truck toward this storage area on the other side.
He opened the lot and showed me pieces of an engine, but there were supposed to be two engines.
"I don't know where that other engine is! haha"
"Hey ya know I was gonna pay you guys the rest of it even go into my credit but now...No way."
"Listen this is what I'll do at the end of the month we'll put the engine back in and go for a ride together."
"Ya know I really thought this car was in my future but now I don't want it to be...Let it be someone elses Trojan horse."
I was sure that was the end of it, I shook his hand then I walked home the rest of the way still upset but vilified having expressed my concerns in the calmest way I could.
A friend called asking if he could come down the day before and I didn't really expect him to turn up.
But he knew I was really upset about the car.
It was a relief for the moment, we left the house, went to the beach, ate at the house, and then we went shopping, I ended up buying my grandmother a new pot, and we bought some wine.
He wanted to go to the spa I sometimes go to, to relax.
I usually only go there when I feel I've earned it.
And I really didn't want to share this place to other people I know.
I almost felt guilty, maybe it was regret, that I showed him the place.
It was different then when I go there just for me, and I tried to relax despite being worried.
He paid for the admission at the spa but I knew they over charged him.
That too probably gave me a bad taste in the mouth.
I should've said something but I guess my eyes bulging out of my head while looking at the attendant wasn't enough.
Don't trust anybody!
He wanted me to make him a painting too and said he'd pay me for it.
Asking for a painting of a beach sunset.
I jumped at the idea it would give me something to do and I could re-purpose the unused laminate I couldn't use for the guitar toward the painting.
The next day I went with my grandmother to Dave the Luthier and bought new material off him for the soundboard, the tail block and the back plate.
Since the car isn't my concern I wasn't worried about putting money toward the guitar.
Now I can really put together a good guitar, Dave offered to teach me how to sharpen my tools with the wet-stone on my next visit.
I put this off a bit, I wanted to see whether the jokers at the autobody shop would end up taking me for a ride.
If so I would've had them drive their car and wait for me to finish sharpening My Tools.
The satisfaction I would've had from that would have been enjoyable but I didn't bet on that happening.
Over the next few days my grandmother went to work on her sowing.
I was really surprised to see her going into it head first and really doing a great job having not done work like that in what she said was 20 years.
I decided I needed something to do too. So I made my dad a wall clock but not just any wall clock, this would be something just for him, from me to fit his motif in the house back in New York.
I started sawing back a piece of scrap plywood to fit the idea.
I didn't want a perfect cut but something symmetrical.
I used my oils to paint it and put together another piece for the dial.
My grandmother went out and bought me a clock movement from the same art store she bought the fabrics from.
I paced the project out over the month.
Near the middle of the month I knew my uncle was coming in and with him would come other family. I looked over the garden since he really has a good eye for it and I really neglected it over the past two months.
My grandmother didn't want me using any water and she had me shut off the sprinklers.
But I should've done it anyway.
When he came in I was a bit relieved, it would ease the tension between my grandmother and I.
With family here we would all get a break from whatever projects we were now both involved in.
It was a good start, and the next day we got to work in the garden.
Pruning the hell out of all the dead leaves, and branches.
Between the both of us it must have been about 8 hours of work together that day.
I really felt sore but didn't bitch about it.
I couldn't complain really because otherwise I'd be in the shop working on the clock or overworking it before the paint would dry.
I expected his usual sarcasm so that didn't bother me either.
He even gifted me a couple of books, which I appreciated, I haven't read anything other then Luthier's manuals for the past six months.
The only thing that annoyed me was him insuating that I should get a job.
Another friend later on asked the same thing.
Hearing this from 3 people in a months time finally got on my nerves.
When my friend asked, "Any luck finding a job?"
I sarcastically replied, "Well ya know if cutting, carving, sanding, gluing, repairing wood and not having an employer to cover my losses isn't a job then I guess I don't have a job."
The sarcasm went right over his head, "At least your doing something though."
The next day family came by.
The oven crapped out a few weeks before and the technician said the control panel finally died.
I figured it was something like that and likely they didn't have a 13 year old control panel in stock so it would have had to be completely rebuilt.
He quoted us at $500 for the control panel, I knew that couldn't be possible the motherboard on my machine costs far less then that and does a helluva lot more.
We ended up buying a new oven and I had the old one out the day before my uncle was coming.
What I couldn't do was get the old gas link out.
We ended up calling a plumber that I spotted on the way to pick up my uncle.
Even he had a bitch of a time getting the old gas link cable out.
The timing all had to be perfect.
We had the oven running by the time company came and my grandmother cooked enough for at least a week.
My other uncle and would be aunt both gave me gifts both were put to good use.
They also assigned us with a small chair cover project.
I was worried it would be a pain in the ass to get the wood staples out.
But whoever built the chair really put work into it, bending it and making those staples not so hard to get out.
The seat covers my grandmother has are a work of crap, it took me three hours to get all the staples off whoever stapled her seat to hell.
My uncles took less then a half hour.
My Aunt was really observant, "You don't waste any time do you?"
If you only knew!
My uncles went out for the day and I talked to my Aunt.
I showed her the shop and we ended up going on a walk for milk.
She told me about her work as a hospice nurse.
I tried to avoid the emotional part of it from myself.
But she was very upset about having to watch elders fall.
Not in the physical sense but the metaphorical one.
I didn't want to have to deal with the reality that she might be in that same place some day.
I didn't want to think about what she couldn't do but what she could do.
She can still do a lot on her own but its easy to see that with age things just get harder.
Hell I feel old...
It was a good time but right after my grandmother was moody again.
So much so that she left for a optometrist appointment with my hand still on the car door.
And if I really were crazy I would've held onto the door.
It didn't make sense to me and I didn't know what I did wrong.
We argued after and I am starting to feel concerned for myself.
How much of this shit can I take?
Despite the frustrations I am still determined to get that guitar finished.
If thats the last thing I get out of living here let that be it.
Though I hope that won't be the case and things will get better not worse.
Maybe even a trip to Europe after all the chaos has turned to an ordered tune.
For all the negative, there was still good this month.
The CPU manufacturer replaced the CPU without cost and I was really happy about that.
They gave me the next step up too though not the biggest leap in processing power.
I've always been rooting for the underdog and with the other big CPU manufacturer out there owning 75% of the market they certainly are.
I bought a discounted pair of decent running shoes and ran a good couple miles just to break them in.
A few necessary beach days, family tidings, a friendly visit, and projects to work toward or on.
As the month ends I walked to the beach and back and noticed the old cypress tree I'd hang on from time to time was broken.
I knew they didn't saw it because it would've been a straight cut down.
Somebody might have seen me and tried to do what I did hanging upside down or standing on top of it and broke it.
Poisoning the well on me.
With a new month comes a new canvas and the first work on the rebuilding of the guitar.
As always keepin' it ▢
-Astral
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