The Sky Falls Down

I knew there would be a point in my experience that would be out of my control.
A memory I was forced to live through, how do you insult a time traveler?
Well you make the error in his life uncorrectable.
The moment already crashed through the wall but the other side of it was still pending.
The memory of that moment still lurking, the how and the why I did not know til a very exact set of circumstance was to exist but the experience still pending.
Where did I make the error? I kept asking.
All that time I thought it would be something I could change.
It can't because the point of no return has already passed, the error was personal.
And here I was trying to figure out, I must have made a miscalculation somewhere
It was with yourself, yourself god damn it! 
Still there are so many what ifs that would come into play if it didn't happen that way.
I would have never gone out to California.
I would have never started building guitars.
I would have never jumped in the Pacific Ocean.
Would I have even discovered the very machine that caused me to fall.
The problem kept multiplying with the loss of the timelines I had in that box.
I'll never know what would've been if I still had that box.
To input those dates to keep them til I thought I could find a device that would change what happened that day.
And there might be but will I be around for it?
I was experiencing active Astral Projections simultaneously I could anticipate what was going to happen. I knew there was the being of light watching over me to protect this place. To protect me and I could swear a green light was over me illuminating me in my rest.
I was remembering someone my mom and a few friends that used to spend time here.
I knew in my mind the Sky was falling down on me.
That memory that painful memory that I'd have to live through would shatter my dream in one moment and I'd never be able to know if any if it changed anything.
If only I'd seen my face that day I'd have asked so many questions.
So many questions.

I am trying to project into the future and I see so much already.
From a dark facility in a vat of cold air and someone screaming to get out.
A planet in which Ice cuts through it freezing a part of a breaking sun.
I see a red desert that I wake up on somewhere is that in a current life, a past life or a future life.
I decided to paint on a new canvas a picture in my mind of a gold court room where there is a door to eternity but I cannot see past that door.
All I can see is the run the gold tiles as I get closer to that door.
As I get close to the door they tell me their names.
I see a Silver machine reaching over the earth trying to crush it.