November Blues

November started off with things returning to normal(ish). 

I couldn't do much more then edit photos and stay home.

I was under the impression I was under good standing with a friend. 

That changed.

After a desperate & honest email that was rooted in truths of my own. 

She told me off very colorfully. 

I am in a subtle panic, something major is about to change for me & I am not ready for it.

She cut me off. 

In addition to that my brother is moving out, and subsequently cutting me off as well.

Blaming me for his problems always. 

He doesn't want to contribute to anything. 

So don't contribute, fuck yourself & me over its fine, I won't be the one to feel the guilt though.

He will. 

Because I was honest and truthful & I never hid my intentions like he does.

I don't know what he wants, I doubt he truly knows what he wants.

But his anger & bitterness are viral. 

Its infected my mind & for him to leave is probably a good thing.

I will have to get a paying roommate immediately to cover the expenses of the house.

My brother is short sighted & doesn't see the damage hes doing to me or himself.

Neither does my friend from afar.

I was ready to call her and now I just feel defeated.

If things get worse which they will I'll be forced to act in ways I don't want to.

Its another sad truth. 

Another friend has been dependent on me for rides. 

Asking for them often without paying gas money.

Thats about to change.

No more rides at all. 

Its just the way I feel about it.

You need a ride, get an uber.

In other news I have been watching the market this month ebb and flow.

Its been a strange month for the market. 

We reached all time highs and then a mild sell off.

Followed by a complete downturn with the news that fed would accelerate tapering.

In addition to covid news.

I went and got the booster at the end of the month here.

I'm not happy this month as a friend wanted to move in while my brother moves out.

My brother offended him and so he left after the first day in.

I'm actually glad my friend did leave because my brother is a tyrant & they would have easily fought at some point. 

November sucked. 

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