Time for Hour Tax Cum

Apparently Star Wars has strippers now. 

May the force be with them!

How about that time for hour tax cum baby?

Anyway its been so busy.

Insanely busy. 

Misguided arrows of thought that lead to a return to things I left behind. 

I'm pretty sure things are getting worse not better.

I'm working still as a rideshare but its been a hard road to dedicate myself to it while trying to build a production company for the purposes of filming a short film I call Dreams.

I'm running out of money, how this happened is complicated I don't even know entirely if I should be missing the amount of money I'm missing. 

Things have become overwhelming again.

Yes I don't have to worry about the threat of the guardianship now but there are other threats too, threats I obviously didn't see & now have some but not complete awareness of them. 

Its leading me to believe that I need to take this blog down. 

I don't really want to.

I like having this blog to read back to myself to reflect to see where I have been. 

What works for me is not necessarily what everyone else should be hearing & its at this point free information that I don't charge for. 

It does document the importance of my thinking, the progress or degression of events taking place personally & afar but divulges too much information for a public viewing. 

This has been an expensive six months. 

Its been chaotic then ordered, then chaotic again.

A new tattoo, a red dragon is spiraling down my arm now.

People in public recognize me now & I don't necessarily know why.

Theres no news reels or discussion about me or any of the things I discuss here.

But either way I'm probably going to have to enter politics in the county soon somehow.

I don't want to, its intimating, I'm too innocent as far as knowing what the middle ground is & I have my opinions.

I do want a lot of things to happen though, necessary things. 

Things like actually proving that the flux capacitor is a working piece of technology & not just a fun movie prop that everybody can joyfully laugh about.

Its apparent to me & I assume to a lot of people now that random appearances of advanced technology are being used or on display at uncertain or unpredictable times. 

I can swear that I had a rider in the car that literally shape shifted into a completely different person.

This particular individual also gave me a $40 tip. Which for a rideshare is gold & also very strange.

Is there a conspiracy at Uber too? Probably. Which is why I think I get certain rides with very unusual circumstances. 

Not all of them should be discussed. 

But the coolest one was a ghost train flying across the Montauk highway at 2 am after an East Hampton reservation.

It was like a L train in pure white light that was maybe 20 feet up in the air about a half miles distance between me and the truck in front of me. 

The truck may have had onboard a portable device that caused a phase in point to exist in the space time continuum that wasn't random at all. In the future there will be so much build up of the technology that its not completely unexpected for any of the usage of it to be possible.

Flying cities? 

Multiple decks of raised city skyline over New York with ascending roads and elevators (With the shittiest air quality you can imagine in the future) 

I am told by the management system that the approximate human population of the world will reach 400 billion in 2081. 

Theres a reason for it. 

A political disorder will cause it & because of the set of circumstances that are alleged to exist in the future there will just be WAY to many people.

History is now under question by educators I'm noticing (so scary) that they are considering actually rewriting history. 

Keep those books & read, I mean read like hell! Because even should there be a historical misunderstanding in the exact readable flow of history as a text to be known. It should still be noted that each historian has an opinion about the way the history should be read. 

In before history goes to the victors.

Often rewriting history results in fictions that deplete long term knowledge of our inherent historical flaws. By rewriting I mean disproving literal history just like they did in the novel "1984". And thats not healthy. Why because it instantly restricts individual thought & opinion. Its very likely it will de-democratize the country...And thats sad because its very similar to what happened to Rome. 

Someone described this period as "Lust" and yes that is exactly what this era is. 

Its a lustful period in American history full of sex, desire & an almost unmatched comfort level.

Why the restriction on toilet usage?

Its so unsanitary for establishments to do this & theres an elite that want it that way. 

An argument a debate should be negotiated about that very subject. 

Not the nonsense that gets cast on media channels.

Debate the freakin' toilets!

I question my past because I can't observe all of it from what I'm remembering. 

I can only see from my perspective or look at old family photos & guess if its true or not.

Maybe I'm in denial about my own past? 

Often in history we find so many obscurities because they are concealed or never documented. 

Especially something like mental health history. 

They don't want to be responsible for what happens later because what happens with the system later is that the mental health system becomes the primary educator instead of supporting system for those in special needs. 

These kids are so smart! Thank god they know how to communicate when something is wrong.

You know what one little girl said in passing when I heard her?

"Miss so & so says, if you act mentally ill you will be failed in this class." 

Shes trying to tell everyone loud enough that shes very aware of her behavior.

Wow you know what thats kinda screwed up.

Why would you discipline your students with that?

Why would you install fear like that? 

Is that an educators tool now? 

For someone that often acted out in class & practiced attention seeking behaviors for some of highschool. 

I'm rather glad I did because though the social distancing mechanism that setback my social life for years still has had a MAJOR impact in my personal life. 

I would have never made the creative choices I made. 

They aren't the most wealthy choices but as grandpa once said the meek shall inherit the earth.

The wealthy of heart, but the meek of property. 

I could be wrong about that too because the wealthy can always experience more entertaining things then a poor person can.

Its often considered to me that history is not only repeating exactly the same way it does everytime but so is the future. Only one thing is wrong with all that I often can focus presently. I've told therapists this, doctors, they don't comment on it. Why?

They won't medicate me for it either. 

Theres something simple that is extremely complicated that is knotted in my mind.

Theres a lot of knots in my mind that make me who I am if you loosen those knots though it goes to a reflection of events long dormant that will open a whole chain of thoughts that most experts think of as reframing. I try not to reframe or reorder my past because I have an exact understanding of what those memories look like but at 37 I am experiencing an influx of memory I didn't have before. The timeline memory management system is part to blame but some of these are old memories I can kinda tell because I recognize the characters, the conversations but the context and dates is removed from awareness. In most if not all of my childhood memories I don't remember looking at clocks very often. Isn't that strange? What was it that started that path to looking at clocks? I remember just now what it was! But I'm told not to talk about it thats its personal thing that can be discussed later just not now. It has to do with continuity or synchronicity. 

Theres certain things I believe about myself that I'm told I really have too much pride about that they are actually really great things to rely on for self motivation but they can be considered unfounded by some people. 

I don't know what that exactly means for me.

But are they telling me my sense of honor is misplaced? 

Maybe.

And so back to the future of the blog it maybe considered a dishonor to keep this blog up any longer. 

This may be a last post for a long time before I lock it up to privacy again. 

Syonara,

-Astral Samurai