But wheres the plan ya know? At the height of my youthful, idealistic, rebellious stage I fought the system just as you did. I put my heart into it so much so that at the age of sixteen I had my first encounter with the police. I was silenced, documentation was falsified, and I was given a label. I entered a sort of grey area, neither criminal, nor law abiding citizen. I learned the hard way that sometimes one mistake can change everything. I was exiled from high school and was told, "That if I ever showed up on campus again I would be arrested." I was put in a proverbial box and that box has still not been broken out of. I fought the law and the law won. Now maybe my idealism has been peeled away, my youth dried out, and my rebelliousness has turned to subscribed conformity. But I do applaud those who are new to the fight. Those who have yet to be broken down and told exactly what to do. You've got a helluva long road ahead and you may never see...
So I tried to serve my best friend as best I could. Then I remember all the details of my metsuke. Its old now but seems so fresh like it was yesterday. Its easy to forget the battles we fight but when I was young I found my life to be slow, lonely then on one night everything changed. There were samurai's, tigers, & I remember so many warnings about what to do or what not to do but thats not how time works. Time is not a warning time is exactly what it should be a movement.\ Warnings do not mean that they will change that thing it will only ensure that they do happen. "Don't sell the house." Means we ended up selling the house. "Do this do that but dont do this or that." Its all delaying the inevitable.
January ended with the guardianship lawyer requesting more money for his retainer. Since I can't afford it I had to let him go. Unfortunately this may mean my brother does get the guardianship after all. My brother's intentions are fraudulent. He says, "I want you out of my life" "I don't want the guardianship anymore." Yet he still pursues it because he wants control of my money. Well to be honest I hope he gets it now. Why? Because it's going to prove my point about money and power in the wrong hands. The moralist tells the story, this is a story about two brothers one wanted his freedom the other wanted to take the other brother's freedom away so he could have more freedom for himself. The two brothers fought for years in courts over who was right and who was wrong. Eventually the older wiser brother lost his freedom to the more selfish younger brother. The older brother became so neglected, so angry that wherever he would go he would mention...
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